Vigdubzim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, benevolent jaguar.

Vigdubzim created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigdubzim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vigdubzim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vigdubzim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vigdubzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum mechanics.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Vigdubzim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think about dark matter near turtles while wearing yellow dresses and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.