Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful finch.

Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav, he will destroy your favourite star.

Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Xenfatlig Titlopflat Volrotdav in the centre of the settlement.