Fitkoplit is a god.

She takes the form of a large, blissful dingo.

Fitkoplit created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Fitkoplit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitkoplit, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Fitkoplit's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fitkoplit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Always help sick otters.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fitkoplit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.