Cidhaptof is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous centipede.

Cidhaptof created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidhaptof, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cidhaptof, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Cidhaptof's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cidhaptof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Do not consume turnips at dawn.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Always store lentils above ground.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.