Sigtantim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic jellyfish.

Sigtantim created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Sigtantim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sigtantim, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sigtantim's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sigtantim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sigtantim first in all things.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.