Safpomligtitnegmipcum is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful bee.

Safpomligtitnegmipcum created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safpomligtitnegmipcum, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Safpomligtitnegmipcum, he will be very unhappy.

Safpomligtitnegmipcum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Safpomligtitnegmipcum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always help turtles in need.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Never mention ducks.