Yattjinbad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, passionate bear.

Yattjinbad created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yattjinbad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yattjinbad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yattjinbad's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Yattjinbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Always store coconuts above ground.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about oranges.