Zaklennar is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, uncaring cat.

Zaklennar created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zaklennar, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zaklennar, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Zaklennar's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Zaklennar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zaklennar.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near cats while wearing mauve hats and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing black ear rings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your legs.

5. Respect your elders.