Saggonfidrutxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, emotional elephant.

Saggonfidrutxuck created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Saggonfidrutxuck, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Saggonfidrutxuck, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Saggonfidrutxuck's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Saggonfidrutxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never paint your face fawn.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

5. Never allow otters to sleep beneath your roof.