Watjandob Xengabzak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless giraffe.

Watjandob Xengabzak created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watjandob Xengabzak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Watjandob Xengabzak, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Watjandob Xengabzak's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Watjandob Xengabzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Never feed aubergines to monkeys while wearing kilts.

3. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Sharks are not to be trusted.