Vadbadwon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, humane finch.

Vadbadwon created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbadwon, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vadbadwon, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vadbadwon's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Vadbadwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not keep six otters in a large pit.

5. Do not commit murder.