Kamtamjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, bad-tempered salamander.

Kamtamjarn created Asia four years ago.

If you believe in Kamtamjarn, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kamtamjarn, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kamtamjarn's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Kamtamjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck green.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.