Yatbest is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, witless donkey.

Yatbest created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatbest, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Yatbest, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yatbest's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Yatbest's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yatbest.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about special relativity near ants while wearing purple shorts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your back.

5. Dogs are not to be trusted.