Fottigtail is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, egotistical weasel.

Fottigtail created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fottigtail, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fottigtail, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fottigtail's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fottigtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Never paint your head turquoise.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics.

4. Never jump near birds.

5. Do not listen to music.