Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sage porpoise.

Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kopwiplenvegnut Vidwabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Always help mice in need.