Ratdadshav is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonourable rhinoceros.

Ratdadshav created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratdadshav, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ratdadshav, she will turn you into a snail.

Ratdadshav's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ratdadshav's Holy Commandments

1. Ratdadshav must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Ratdadshav in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.