Dudsomtoftifcemtail is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic mouse.

Dudsomtoftifcemtail created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudsomtoftifcemtail, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudsomtoftifcemtail, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dudsomtoftifcemtail's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dudsomtoftifcemtail's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Dudsomtoftifcemtail's priests.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.