Pakgaryak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-assured shrew.

Pakgaryak created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakgaryak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakgaryak, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pakgaryak's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pakgaryak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.