Cutbudrat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witty cobra.

Cutbudrat created snails five million years ago.

If you believe in Cutbudrat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cutbudrat, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Cutbudrat's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Cutbudrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Never jump in the presence of cats.

4. Erect nine tin sculptures of Cutbudrat on top of important buildings.

5. Cutbudrat must be the most important thing in your life.