Tadnadveen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, astonishing wolf.

Tadnadveen created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tadnadveen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tadnadveen, she will turn you into a tree.

Tadnadveen's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tadnadveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Always obey Tadnadveen's priests.

3. Hide if four capybaras approach from the west.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Fast once a month.