Dibkenbam is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent donkey.

Dibkenbam created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibkenbam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibkenbam, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dibkenbam's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dibkenbam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Do not keep five gulls in a large pit.

4. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the west.

5. Put Dibkenbam first in all things.