Raklarpwad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic deer.

Raklarpwad created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raklarpwad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Raklarpwad, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Raklarpwad's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Raklarpwad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never feed beans to swans while wearing boots.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Never talk about comets.