Dumtifsom Dobxinflig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, omniscient faun.

Dumtifsom Dobxinflig created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumtifsom Dobxinflig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dumtifsom Dobxinflig, she will cry a lot.

Dumtifsom Dobxinflig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Dumtifsom Dobxinflig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumtifsom Dobxinflig.

2. Do not hurt nematodes.

3. Never feed turnips to tortoises while wearing fawn shorts.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about fire.