Jatominkik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, witty shrew.

Jatominkik created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatominkik, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jatominkik, it will be very unhappy.

Jatominkik's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jatominkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dogs while wearing brown dresses.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never wear white stockings.