Nulldadquaf Mapgof is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless warg.

Nulldadquaf Mapgof created a top quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulldadquaf Mapgof, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nulldadquaf Mapgof, she will turn you into a rat.

Nulldadquaf Mapgof's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nulldadquaf Mapgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow swans to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Worship no other gods but Nulldadquaf Mapgof.

3. Never travel toward the south during spring.

4. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

5. Never write about asteroids.