Bifparkgem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tranquil salamander.

Bifparkgem created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Bifparkgem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifparkgem, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bifparkgem's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bifparkgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Erect three lead sculptures of Bifparkgem on top of important buildings.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Bifparkgem in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not chop down trees.