Popgembast is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited dugong.

Popgembast created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popgembast, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Popgembast, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Popgembast's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Popgembast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Popgembast's name in vain.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not eat nuts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.