Hapvonhamcar is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, witless dingo.

Hapvonhamcar created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapvonhamcar, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hapvonhamcar, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hapvonhamcar's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hapvonhamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about gravity.