Quambissbesswan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental toad.

Quambissbesswan created silver four million years ago.

If you believe in Quambissbesswan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quambissbesswan, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quambissbesswan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Quambissbesswan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quambissbesswan.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quambissbesswan.

5. Never eat beans.