Fomnellnak is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy bird.

Fomnellnak created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomnellnak, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fomnellnak, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fomnellnak's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fomnellnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not eat peanuts.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.