Bigdognig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omnipotent dingo.

Bigdognig created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigdognig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bigdognig, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bigdognig's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Bigdognig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Bigdognig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Never paint your back mauve.

5. Pray towards the west.