Wonbotnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving spider.

Wonbotnutt created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonbotnutt, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wonbotnutt, she will have a low opinion of you.

Wonbotnutt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Wonbotnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Never feed melons to rats while wearing pink scarves.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near foxes while wearing orange hats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Learn six new languages a year.