Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, proud duck.

Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem, it will destroy your favourite star.

Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem's Holy Commandments

1. Bedweglim Vilvabstikzakxem loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Hide if three great tits approach from the south.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.