Banhotpig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthinking badger.

Banhotpig created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Banhotpig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Banhotpig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Banhotpig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Banhotpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if five great tits approach from the north.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Banhotpig's name in vain.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.