Banlargyat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, loving otter.

Banlargyat created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Banlargyat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Banlargyat, he will throw large rocks at you.

Banlargyat's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Banlargyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to hamsters while wearing magenta skirts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Learn four new languages a year.