Flankadpark is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy pig.

Flankadpark created the Sunflower Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flankadpark, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flankadpark, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flankadpark's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Flankadpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flankadpark on top of all buildings.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.