Mapfoncut is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent warg.

Mapfoncut created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfoncut, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mapfoncut, it will destroy your home planet.

Mapfoncut's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Mapfoncut's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat bats with great respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Mapfoncut loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.