Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, tiresome giraffe.

Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop, she will turn you into a frog.

Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Futvilmisnab Govbidlargjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys in need.

2. Do not place carrots upon stone.

3. Never mark doors with purple.

4. Never allow foxes to witness sacred rites.

5. Never go into blue rooms.