Logtapcun Tarpstigkar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unselfish crocodile.

Logtapcun Tarpstigkar created the Sunflower Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Logtapcun Tarpstigkar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Logtapcun Tarpstigkar, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Logtapcun Tarpstigkar's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Logtapcun Tarpstigkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Do not keep three sheep in a large pit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always help sick tapirs.