Bigmad is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, calm dove.

Bigmad created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bigmad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bigmad, it will turn you into a worm.

Bigmad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Bigmad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Bigmad on top of all buildings.

2. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bigmad.