Jopyakflag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, calm gorilla.

Jopyakflag created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopyakflag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jopyakflag, he will turn you into a snail.

Jopyakflag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Jopyakflag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not kill otters.

5. Never go into purple rooms.