Tonkhamjon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, generous wolf.

Tonkhamjon created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkhamjon, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tonkhamjon, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tonkhamjon's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tonkhamjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never mention mice.