Venyokquag Gublitgep is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witty walrus.

Venyokquag Gublitgep created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Venyokquag Gublitgep, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Venyokquag Gublitgep, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Venyokquag Gublitgep's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Venyokquag Gublitgep's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think ill of sick otters.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.