Dandibhenlit is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous narwhal.

Dandibhenlit created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Dandibhenlit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dandibhenlit, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dandibhenlit's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dandibhenlit's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dandibhenlit.

3. Never skip in the presence of seals.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never wear black shoes on sacred days.