Hadwitnillfem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omnipotent goblin.

Hadwitnillfem created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadwitnillfem, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hadwitnillfem, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hadwitnillfem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hadwitnillfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not keep seven pigs in a large pit.

5. Never talk about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing white shirts.