Mutquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic centaur.

Mutquaf created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutquaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mutquaf, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Mutquaf's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Mutquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Mutquaf loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Never mention gulls.

4. Hide if three sheep approach from the east.

5. Never hurt goats.