Duttenzog is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, emotional guinea pig.

Duttenzog created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Duttenzog, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Duttenzog, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Duttenzog's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Duttenzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not kill eagles.

4. Hide from turquoise goats for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.