Sogsugkan is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous capybara.

Sogsugkan created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Sogsugkan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sogsugkan, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sogsugkan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sogsugkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face indigo.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never feed onions to squirrels while wearing jumpers.

4. Always help otters.

5. Run away if five shrews approach from the west.