Armpopjat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless mongoose.

Armpopjat created water three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armpopjat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Armpopjat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Armpopjat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Armpopjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Never feed corn to mites while wearing ear rings.

5. Never wear trousers.