Gupzimlop is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, self-assured squid.

Gupzimlop created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupzimlop, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gupzimlop, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gupzimlop's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Gupzimlop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Gupzimlop in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always help dogs.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Put Gupzimlop first in all things.