Jatwodcim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fast cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jatwodcim created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatwodcim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatwodcim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Jatwodcim's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jatwodcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Jatwodcim loves swans, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Never feed cherries to birds while wearing hats.