Camnakzak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, intelligent jaguar.

Camnakzak created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Camnakzak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Camnakzak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Camnakzak's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Camnakzak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if eight dogs approach from the north.

3. You must never eat turnips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Hide if three birds approach from the east.