Sitpasarfcum is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, emotional crane.

Sitpasarfcum created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitpasarfcum, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Sitpasarfcum, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sitpasarfcum's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sitpasarfcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.