Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, resourceful finch.

Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut, he will be very sad.

Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dongutflab Quilltiffoss Ratrutnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near birds while wearing gray scarves and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never paint your head brown.